Friday, May 14, 2010

How to be Fascinating

(Or, how to be the coolest ten-year-old around.)

Step one: Buy a scooter. I have this one; it's the Razor A5-Lux:

Step two: Fall off it.

The combination of these two things (and the accompanying bandaids that ensue) will surely earn you street cred with fifth-graders nationwide. You will receive comments like: "Whoooooa, where'd you get a scooter with wheels that big?" and "Wow, what happened to you?" and "This one time, I had a scrape so big that you could see the fat under it!"

(Don't worry--I'm fine. ;o)

I was having a very fantastic ten-year-old sort of day, though. Scootin' around in my jean pedalpushers and giant sneakers, scrapin' my knee like a scamp, scootin' down to get some ice cream, all under the breezy-treesy warmth of a May afternoon. Ahhh, the approaching end of a school year. Is there any better feeling? Even if you're not IN school anymore.

Also: a scooter IS a great way to be fascinating. It turned the heads of all kinds of people, including fifth graders, old ladies with walkers, the guy behind the counter at the Chinese bakery who's never before been inclined to conversation, and hipsters who *also* have scooters.

It's probably a bonus amount of interesting since I'm neither a boy nor a hoodlum. That's what I'm here for. Bringing you cognitive dissonance since 1978.

Enjoy your May day!

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